It all started February 8th. I had drill that weekend and got a hotel room to technically be alone but just to be closer to my unit as well. I hate that drive so early in the morning. Saturday night I kik ole dude to come over and just sleep with me. When I say sleep that's exactly what I meant. He asked if I meant fucked but I said, "I didn't mean it that way but if it happened oh well lol." He eventually came over that night and him laying next to me didn't mean a thing I just hate sleeping alone. Now this guy that I'm talking about, I've written about him before on my blog. So for us to have sex this night it felt just as good as it did before maybe better lol. I'm not going to get into any details of that night because it's not pertinent.
February 9th, the next morning. I think I didn't have to report until 7 or whatever the case may be. I started to rub up against him and kiss his lips and so on. He eventually woke up and got the picture. Before I had to go he made me feel so amazing right but the last position landed me in a lot of shyt. I was on top of him, riding him. Yessss...mistake. He told me, "I'm about to cum!" and I heard him but I didn't think anything of it because before I was told I couldn't get pregnant. So this didn't phase me. But he came inside of me while I was on top of him. His eyes got wide like shock, nerviness, and disappointment maybe? So I got off went to the bathroom to clean off and push out his cum. It never came out but I still didn't think about it.
Moving forward 2 to 3 weeks. I was supposed to get my period about the ending of the month. I was counting it down. I started feeling cramps and my boobs were starting to hurt so I was excited about it, thinking like if I get my period I know I'm not pregnant. So the 25th came and I said OK well I got at least one more day and if I don't get it (smh). I bought a pregnancy test that night. The morning of the 26th came and no period. I opened up the pregnancy test and used it. A minute later and the results where "you are pregnant." I was shocked, not sure if I was shocked(happy) or (sad). Maybe a little of both.
That morning I kik him, no response. So then I texted him basically saying, "when you get the time we need to talk." I wanted to see him face to face but I'm guessing between the last time we saw each other and the time I found out, nothing has been going his way. He eventually responded back and I think he knew exactly what I wanted to talk about. I told him and let him know I wasn't going to keep it so no worries. He pretty much asked me did I set him up blah blah blah...hilarious. Eventually, he wanted to know why I wasn't going to keep it. (We are not ready and I don't even like you like that).
Anyhow March 21st. I ended up getting an abortion. Almost 2months pregnant. It really hurt my feelings to have to do this. But throughout the whole time, not once did he willingly check up on me or anything. I stopped worrying about him a while ago. It hurt because I had to have my baby literally yanked and sucked out of me. I'm still upset because it could've been my little girl that I want so bad. Well I let him know that everything was over and done with and now it's like he wants to talk to me. I don't care to see him though. SMH! My due date would've been November 7th.
R.I.P.
my child
Mommy is sorry!!!
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